Forgotten Memories
by ChristyK
Summary: Van is missing and presumed dead after an explosion


Once more I'd like to thank everyone for their kind reviews of my other stories. I'm glad you are enjoying them and that you take the time to review them. I really, really appreciate it Thanks.

Forgotten Memories

"**Noooooooo!"** Deaq screamed as he sat up in bed his eyes wide open. After catching his breath he lay back down staring at the ceiling. It had been over two months and every night he relived it. The boat exploding and Van disappearing into a wall of fire. That night he had watched from the shore, waiting to back up his partner if he needed it. Van was making a drug deal on the boat when something went terribly wrong. Deaq had watched as Van started to argue with someone on the boat and then the argument had moved to the back of the boat when suddenly there was a loud explosion and the entire boat exploded into hundreds of pieces. He had radioed for help, jumped in a small boat at the shoreline, and raced to the location. The glow from the fire highlighted the area immediately surrounding what was left of the boat but a few feet away most of the debris floated off into the darkness of the night. He had dived into the water and searched desperately for Van, screaming his name over and over, but all he could see were pieces of bodies floating nearby. He was forced to climb back into his boat when he noticed sharks had begun gathering around the area snatching up any piece of flesh they could find. The police had found Deaq sitting in his boat near the wreckage, tears streaming down his face, in a complete state of shock. They were only able to recover a few body parts and DNA proved that none of them matched Van's DNA. Five men had been on the boat that night and only two men had been identified by the DNA tests. The rest were believed to have been devoured by sharks or had been lost to the ocean. He still had trouble believing Van was dead, but he was. He had to get on with his life, he knew that. Van would want him to, but it was hard, so hard. He couldn't bring him back, no one could. He knew Van's death had broken Billie's heart too but she had people counting on her to be strong. She ran the Candy Store and she couldn't fall apart. But Deaq had seen her fall apart when she thought no one was watching. He had watched her go into the back storage room and sob her eyes out. Deaq knew there was something happening between Billie and Van though each would whole-heartedly deny it. Now the explosion destroyed what ever might have been.

He had been kept in the hospital for two days for acute anxiety and depression following Van's death. When he was released he had to see a psychiatrist until he was cleared to go back to work. He knew that was routine when ever a cop's partner was killed. His first inclination was to return to New York. He had lost his brother here, now his partner. He needed to be far, far away from L.A. Billie's the one who talked him into staying. He knew she was right when she told him he couldn't run away from his feelings. New York or L.A., it didn't matter. Van's fate would always haunt him. Van was gone and the horrible loneliness wasn't going to go away by running from it. He also knew he stayed because Billie needed him. She was devastated and needed someone who knew how she felt. Sometimes after work they would sit for hours in the Candy Store or at a bar talking over old times. They would both start laughing remembering some antic that Van had pulled. But the laughter quickly died when reality hit home, Van was dead and wasn't coming back.

Deaq dreaded today. Today was when Billie was going to assign him a new partner. He told himself he wouldn't judge the new guy against Van. There was only one Van and he could never be replaced. He took a deep breath and swung his legs over the edge of the bed. _Might as well get this over with_.

Candy Store 

At the Candy Store Billie was going over some paperwork with the new man Dean Roberts. She knew Deaq was going to be angry. Van and Deaq had worked with Roberts before on a case and the man had taken an immediate disliking to Van. In fact when the case ended Roberts and Van had come to blows. Deaq had stood back and watched not wanting to get involved. It was between Van and Roberts, not him. But Billie knew if Van was at the losing end of the fight Deaq would have jumped in and pulled Roberts off of him. As it turned out, Van had clobbered Roberts, which only added to his dislike of Van. But for the moment Roberts was the best she had. Deaq had balked when she mentioned a new partner, but she had told him he either worked with a partner or he didn't work at all. There was no way she wanted him out on the streets without a partner backing him up. Vincent McKay, the man Van and he were after when Van was killed, had disappeared back into the streets of L.A. and they had no idea of his whereabouts. Four of his men had died that night along with Van, plus he had also lost a boatload of drugs. Who knew what he might do? They figured he'd regroup and hopefully leave the area but no one knew for sure. Billie handed a pen to Roberts to sign a form and nervously looked toward the door. Deaq should be there any minute.

Two months earlier 

Over two months ago Van had crawled out of the water and lay on the shoreline watching the police scour the area. All he remembered was being hit and falling in the water, then an explosion. He had fought his way to shore that night then had passed out. When he woke up floodlights lit up the area and he had hid himself back in the shadows. The police were looking for someone. Fear gripped him. Were they looking for him? What had he done? He tried to think. Hell, he couldn't even remember who he was. He watched as a black man screamed a name over and over. The man looked frantic. Had he hurt someone this man cared about? He hid the rest of the night, then before morning he walked away not knowing where he would end up. Eventually he made his way back to L.A.

Candy Store

Deaq entered the Candy Store and walked over to where Billie was still filling out forms. He could see a man sitting in front of her but his back was to Deaq. _So this_ _must be my new partner_ He braced himself, trying to control the anger he was feeling. He knew this man had nothing to do with what happened to Van but he was angry at the situation that had made this day possible. His eyes started to well up but he blinked back the tears. He had to get on with his life. Van wasn't coming back.

"Deaq." Billie looked up at him. "I believe you know Dean Roberts."

Roberts turned around and nodded at Deaq. Deaq felt a cold chill go up his spine. This was the man who had treated his partner like dirt. Roberts had known that Van's father had been in jail for counterfeiting and had taken that fact out on his son. Deaq couldn't believe this was the man he'd have to work with. He looked at Billie and she could tell he was upset. She didn't really blame him.

"Excuse me." She said to Roberts as she stood up and walked over to Deaq. She put her hand on his arm and led him away from Roberts.

"Billie, you must be kidding." Deaq said.

"Deaq, I know you and Roberts aren't the closest but he's the best I have for now."

"Billie, I can't work with him. Not after how he treated Van."

"I know Deaq, I know it's going to be hard but he's a good cop. His personality and the way he treated Van might have sucked but he is a good cop. Captain Parrish sent him over. I tried to explain what had happened between the three of you but he said you'd have to get over it. Van is gone and Roberts is his replacement."

Deaq kept his eyes on the floor. His heart ached for his partner. He knew he couldn't stop living, but right now he wanted to crawl in a hole and die. It would never be the same. No matter who was his partner, it would never be the same. He liked working for Billie and he liked the job. He knew if he refused to work with Roberts, Billie would be forced to dismiss him. He knew she wouldn't want to but she would have no choice.

"Okay Billie, I'll try."

"Thanks Deaq." She looked into his eyes. "Hey, I miss him too." She said, her eyes glistening.

"I know Billie, I know you do." He gave her a sad smile. He'd work with Roberts but only because he didn't want to cause Billie any trouble. It was his job.

They walked back over to Roberts. Billie looked back and forth between them.

"Okay……………….you two know each other so I don't have to introduce you. You both have different ways of handling things but for now at least you need to get along. You're both good cops and you need to put your personal feelings behind you and get the job done. Do I have both your agreements to that?"

Roberts and Deaq looked at each other. Deag had a deep resentment for the man who had treated his partner so badly. It would be hard but he would try to get along. Roberts had no feelings either way for Deaq, it was his partner that he hadn't cared for. They both nodded at Billie.

"Good, then let's get started."

A deserted warehouse in L.A. 

Van looked behind him as he ran down the alley. For the last few months he had been living on the streets. He had been taken in by a bunch of homeless people who made their home in a small deserted warehouse. Van, the healthiest of the bunch, had taken to robbing liquor stores as a way of providing his roommates the necessities of life. He had carried a toy replica of a gun at all the robberies so no one had ever been hurt. He knew he was taking a chance since the majority of the owners of the liquor stores had a hidden gun under the counter. It was only a matter of time before one of them pulled it out. He still had no idea who he was or what had happened. His only memory was of hiding on the shoreline as police scoured the area looking for someone, and of a black man screaming a name over and over, the name of which he couldn't remember. He slipped into the warehouse; he would wait a while then head to a store and buy food and medicine for his friends. He picked up the small dog that greeted him and held him up to his face. The dog squirmed in his arms until he could reach Van's face, then started licking him, glad he was back.

Deaq's house 

Deaq and Roberts had spend the week looking for Richard Morrison a man suspected of selling drugs to the elite of L.A. They had already integrated themselves with some of Morrison's men, but as of yet hadn't met him. They spent the nights hanging out at exclusive clubs in and around L.A. where Morrison was suspected of selling the drugs. Deaq returned home tired from the night's work. He knew if he had been working with Van they would have stopped for a few drinks or shot some hoops at the Candy Store before going directly home. He had no intention of socializing with Roberts nor did Roberts have any intention of socializing with him. They were partners only at work, not in the true sense of the word. He switched on the TV, got a beer out of the refrigerator and flopped down on the sofa. He shut his eyes and leaned his head back. The news was on. ' _The picture was taken from the security camera in the Wine and Spirits store at Carrol and Lombard St. here in L.A. The man was last seen running behind the store and disappearing into the alley. Any one with any information on the man please call your local police._' Deaq opened his eyes and glanced at the set. He quickly sat upright as his mouth dropped open and his eyes widened. The man on the screen bore an uncanny resemblance to Van. But it couldn't be, Van was dead. Unless, unless…………… He was just reaching for the phone when it rang. It was Billie.

"Deaq do you have the news on?"

"I saw it too Billie. But it can't be."

"God Deaq, it looked just like him."

"You don't think…………no it can't be, I saw him die Billie." Deaq didn't want to get his hopes up, it would hurt too much to have them shattered.

"But they never found his body Deaq."

"But why wouldn't he get in touch with one of us. What's going on Billie?"

"I don't know. Maybe……….maybe it's just wishful thinking."

"Billie if there's any possible way my partner could be alive…………I gotta find this guy Billie, who ever he is."

"Deaq we can't get our hopes up. More then likely it's just someone who looks like him. I'm going to head over to the TV station and look at the tape again."

"I'll meet you there."

TV station 

At the TV station Billy explained the situation and the manager found the tape and set it up for them to watch.

At the beginning of the tape a man enters the liquor store, his back is to the camera. His clothes dirty and disheveled, his hair long and tied back in a pony tail. The man goes to the counter and pulls out a gun. The clerk opens his register and hands the money over. As the man turns around Billie stops the film.

"Is there anyway you can zoom in on his face."

"Yeah, I can zoom in but it will distort the picture a little."

"Go ahead."

The man fiddles with the controls and the camera zooms in on the man's face. The picture is grainy and not very clear but Billie and Deaq look at it hopefully. The man has a mustache and a small beard but there's something very familiar about him.

"Billie, I swear that's him." Deaq's heart was pounding, maybe just maybe his partner might be alive.

"Deaq if it is him and he's the one that's been pulling all these liquor store robberies, sooner or later his luck is going to run out. He's going to get himself shot."

"I'm going to find him Billie. I'll work the Morrison case but I'm going to keep my eye out for him and I'm going to find him."

"Deaq, I'll look for him. You have to keep your mind on your work. You can't be preoccupied looking for this man. More then likely it's not Van. He's just a look-a-like." Billie reached out and took Deaq's hand. "We can't get our hopes up. I can't go through losing him again."

"Neither can I Billie." He squeezed her hand.

Later 

They both drove off in different directions each searching for the face on the screen. Once their paths crossed and Billie ordered Deaq to go home. He needed to get some rest. He was in the middle of a dangerous case and needed his mind clear. He told her he would but as soon as her car was out of sight he continued his search. The man robbing the liquor store always struck at night and disappeared down alleyways usually located next to the store. Deaq spent every free hour sitting in front of various liquor stores that had an alley near it, praying that he would be in front of the right one when the man struck again.

Three days later 

Days past and nothing turned up. Deaq continued working the Morrison case, which was moving along as planned. He and Roberts had finally made contact with Morrison and were setting up a deal. In a few days, if everything went as planned, the case should be closed. Deaq drove Roberts home after a long day.

"Hayes, when are you going to realize your old partner's dead? I know where you go after we're done for the day. Why are you wasting your time looking for a dead man?"

"Listen Roberts, if there's any chance Van's alive I need to know. And until we catch this guy and verify that he's not Van, I'll keep on looking."

"Suit yourself, but I need you alert when we bring in Morrison. I don't need you out every night looking for a dead man."

"Don't worry about it, I'll be fine."

Two days later 

Deaq and Roberts sat in front of a trendy club in L.A. waiting for Morrison. Roberts sat watching the entrance to the club while Deaq kept his eyes on the liquor store across the street. It was one of many he had staked out before but it fit in with what he was looking for, it sat next to an alley. Roberts kept looking over at Deaq his annoyance growing.

"Are you going to keep your mind on this case or what?" He snapped angrily.

"My mind is on this case Roberts."

"Everywhere we go you keep checking out the damn liquor stores. The other night when we were talking to Morrison I could tell you were standing by the window so you could keep an eye on the store across the street."

"I told you I'll be fine. Everything's going as we planned. We're exactly where we thought we'd be with this case."

"When are you going to get it through your thick head. Your partner's dead. And you know what? Your partner got exactly what he deserved. Probably opened that big mouth of his once too often." Roberts said giving a smug laugh.

Deaq was immediately on him grabbing his collar and twisting it into a ball with his fist, he held his other fist in front of Robert's face.

"**You ever talk that way about my partner again you'll be eating through a straw for the next year!"**

"**Let go of me!" **Roberts pulled himself away from Deaq.

"Listen Roberts, this ain't going to work between you and me. I had me a partner, and you ain't him." Deaq knew this man would never be his partner, not the way Van had been.

"That's fine with me. When this case is over I'm …………."

"Van?" Deaq interrupted Roberts as he watched the man they had seen on the tape walk into the liquor store. Deaq started getting out of the car but was grabbed by Roberts.

"What about Morrison?"

"That can wait till tomorrow. This can't." He continued out of the car and headed toward the liquor store. Unknown to him, Roberts followed.

Deaq hid in the bushes outside the store and peeked around the corner trying to get a better look at the man. He watched as the man pulled a gun from his pocket and demanded cash. Deaq quietly stepped into the store. The clerk emptied his cash drawer and the man turned around his eyes meeting Deaq's.

"**Van!" **Deaq's joy was short lived. Roberts had come in behind him. Van stood staring at Deaq, something looked familiar about him but at first he didn't know what. Then he remembered. This was the black man who had been down at the water screaming someone's name. He was the man Van had thought was after him. Van raised his gun and backed toward the exit, his eyes filled with apprehension.

"**Hold it right there!" **Roberts shouted from the doorway.

Deaq spun around.

"Damn it Roberts stay out of this!" 

Van was trapped, there was no way out. He made a dash for the door.

"**Police! Freeze! Drop the gun!" **Roberts yelled.

Deaq watched helpless as Van spun toward Roberts, a scared look on his face. Deaq immediately tried to step between the two men but it was too late. A shot rang out and Deaq watched in horror as Van spun around from the impact of the bullet then collapsed on the ground. He lay on his back holding his side, his lips shivering in pain and fear as blood oozed between his fingers.

"**Noooooooooo**!"Deaq fell to his knees beside Van. Van looked at him terrified. He started to reach for his fallen gun and when Roberts raised his gun Deaq threw his body on top of Van.

"**The gun's not real! It's not real!" **Deaq screamed at Roberts as he pushed the gun away from Van. "**Call for an ambulance**!"

Deaq kept pressure on Van's wound. He couldn't believe he was sitting next to his partner who was very much alive.

"Van, I can't believe you're alive!" Deaq said as tears of gratitude filled his eyes. Van's face was etched in pain as he looked at Deaq. Who was this man?

"Who………..who the hell are you?!" He said between teeth clenched in pain.

"Van, it's me Deaq, I'm your partner."

"Partner? What…..what are you……talking about?"

"We'll talk about that later. Let me just take a look at your wound." He gently pulled Van's shirt up. He shut his eyes and breathed a sigh of relief. The wound was deep but as far as he could tell the bullet hadn't entered him, but just took a chunk out of his side. He glared up at Roberts then looked back at Van. "You're going to be okay."

"I…….I know you?" Van asked.

"We'll talk later, first we got to get you to the hospital and patched up."

"No………no hospital." Van struggled to get up.

"It'll be okay." Deaq said gently as he held Van down. He wasn't going to take the chance of losing him again.

A little while later the paramedics arrived along with the police. Roberts walked over to them.

"This man was robbing the store." He said to one of the officers.

As the paramedics examined Van, one of the police officers handcuffed him. Deaq protested.

"He doesn't need to be handcuffed. He's a cop."

"He stays cuffed until we find out what's going on" They picked Van up and put him on a litter. As they were leaving Deaq grabbed Roberts and pushed him against a wall.

"**You didn't have to shoot him!"**

"**He had a gun, I didn't have a choice."**

"**I could tell that gun was a fake from a mile away!"**

"I knew it was just a matter of time before he went bad. He's just like his old man. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree." Roberts pushed Deaq away from him.

Deaq had enough, he floored Roberts with a punch to his face then followed the litter out and climbed in the back of the ambulance with Van. On the way to the hospital he called Billie with the news

"Oh my God Deaq I don't believe it. What happened? Why didn't he let us know he was still alive?"

"I'm not sure Billie but I think he has amnesia or something. He didn't recognize me."

"But he'll be okay?"

"I won't know that till he sees a doctor but I think physically he should recover I don't know about his memory. Billie, there's more. He's been arrested for attempted robbery."

"Okay Deaq, I'll contact Captain Parrish and explain to him what's going on, then I'll meet you at the hospital."

The Hospital 

At the hospital Van was wheeled into the Emergency Room. Deaq paced back and forth outside the door till Billie came. A few minutes later Roberts stormed into the ER as well.

"Lieutenant, Hayes assaulted me! I want him arrested!" 

"**He's the asshole that shot Van!"** Deaq glared at Roberts.

They started to head toward each other.

"**Okay you two knock it off!"** Billie stood between them and put a hand on each of their chests. "I don't have time for this. Right now my only concern is for my officer in there."

"He robbed the liquor store Lieutenant. He's dirty, just like his old man."

"**Listen you son of a bitch……….." **Deaq once more headed toward Roberts.

Billie was getting tired of the bickering back and forth.

"**Enough!** Roberts you go back to the Candy Store and fill out your report. The Morrison case is still active, nothings been compromised as far as we can tell." She then turned to Deaq. "You stay here Van's going to need you."

Later 

An hour later the doctor came out of the ER.

"He'll be fine. He's very lucky, the bullet just creased his side. It's a deep wound and he'll be in pain for a while but with a few weeks rest he should be as good as new. I assume he is a prisoner and will be sent to the county jail?"

"Doctor, this man is a police officer. I have a court order to have him released in my custody."

"If he's an officer, why the cuffs?" The doctor asked.

"It's a long story." She handed the doctor the court order she had picked up from Captain Parrish on the way to the hospital. Parrish and a judge both had signed it.

The doctor read the order.

"Okay, everything looks fine. He's all yours."

Deaq and Billie walked into the ER. Van lay handcuffed to the cot, a bandage over his wound. He looked at them when they came in but there was no recognition in his eyes. Billie eyes filled with tears seeing him. Van was alive. She wanted to run to him and hug him but knew she had to handle this calmly or she could scare him

"Hey Van, how are you doing? We've been looking for you."

Who were these people? And why were they looking for him?

"Why?" He looked suspiciously at them. His eyes darted back and forth between them.

"Because we've missed you partner." Deaq said still not quite believing the partner that he thought was dead was right here in front of him.

Candy Store 

Van was released into Billie's custody. They drove him around the city showing him different areas, hoping to jog his memory. Even stopping at his house, which had remained the way he had left it, didn't help. Frustrated, they ended up back at the Candy Store. Van looked around in amazement at the cars, motorcycles and other items in the building.

"I use to work here?" He couldn't believe that he couldn't remember working at this place. It seemed so unreal.

"Yeah, sit down, I've got a long story to tell you." Billie said.

An hour later 

Between Billie and Deaq they explained to Van who he was and what he did for a living. When they were done he sat looking at them, tears in his eyes.

"I………..I'm sorry. I start to think something sounds familiar but then………….." He shook his head sadly and walked over to a shiny, blue vette. He stood there looking down at it, praying some memory would flash in his brain.

"It's gonna take time Van." Billie said softly. "Right now we got to find you a place to stay." Billie knew since Van was released in her custody she couldn't just let him wander off or even go home alone.

"He can stay with me." Deaq spoke up. "I got plenty of room."

"Are you sure Deaq, he could go home and we could position a guard out front." She felt terrible treating Van like a criminal but she knew for his own safety she had to.

"Yeah I'm sure. Maybe I can jog his memory somehow."

Billie looked at Van.

"Van, I'm going to have to trust you not to try and escape. You're not a prisoner but until your memory comes back you have to stay with either Deag or me. It's for your own safety."

"I won't try to escape……….I promise, but I do need to check in on some friends of mine."

"Sure, Deaq can take you there I'm sure he won't mind." Billie said.

"No problem. We'll stop on the way to my house."

On the drive to Deaq's house 

Van asked Deaq to stop at the warehouse so he could check on his friends living there. The little dog ran up to him immediately and jumped in his arms. Deaq was taken back by the way the people were living and by the thought that Van had been living that way also. They were hungry and thin and Deaq tried to convince them to go to a shelter for help but when that failed, he went around the corner to a pizza shop and brought back three large pizzas that they devoured. When they were ready to leave Van put the little dog down, but the dog didn't want Van to leave and followed him to the car.

"Hey Jake, you got to go back. I can't take you with me." Van said as he bent down and scratched the dog's head.

One of the homeless men walked over to Van.

"He's been crying ever since you left. He misses you Mike."

When Van had first turned up at the warehouse and had no knowledge of his real name the homeless people had begun calling him Mike.

Van blinked back tears as he picked up the little dog.

"Here Joey, you take care of him for me." Van started to hand the dog to the man.

"Now wait a minute." Deaq held his hand up. "I say you bring the little guy with you."

Van's eyes lit up.

"You mean it?"

"Yeah, what my landlord doesn't know won't hurt him."

"Thanks." Van was beginning to like this man, he seemed kind. He only wished he could remember him.

On the drive to Deaq's they stopped at a small bar for a few drinks and a meal. Van felt guilty that Deaq had to pay for the meal so he only ordered a hamburger. Deaq, knowing Van had to be hungry ordered Van a steak, and baked potato and kept the hamburger for the dog.

"I'm sorry, I have no money to pay for this." Van said. "As soon as I can I'll get a job somewhere and pay you back."

A little pain shot through Deaq's heart as he listened to Van. Van had a job, he was a cop. But he knew he had to realize that if Van didn't get his memory back he'd never be a cop again. He knew his partner's job had been his life and now it hurt Deaq to think that he didn't even remember it.

"We'll worry about that later. First you got to get your memory back."

At a table in the back of the club 

As Van and Deaq ate three men watched them from a far off table.

"I can't believe it, I thought he was dead." Walt one of the men said.

"That son of a bitch cost me a lot of money." Vincent McKay glared at Van.

"Not to mention four of your men." Ed, the third man added.

"Men can be replaced. My money can't. I wonder who the guy is that he's with?"

Van had been the only front man on the case they had been working on before the explosion, Deaq had provided backup. The men had never seen Deaq before.

"Maybe his partner, who knows, maybe even just a friend."

"Well, I want Strummer dead. We'll follow them when they leave, then when the time's right………..."

Later 

Deaq gave Van some clean clothes and a razor to get rid of his whiskers. While Van was showering Deaq called Billie and filled her in on the last few hours. She told him to take the next few days off and see if he could get Van to remember anything. The Morrison case could wait. Right now the only thing that was important to either of them was that Van was back and somehow they had to get his memory back. The next few days were spent showing Van other locations around the city and telling him about cases they had been on. Every once in a while he thought something sounded familiar but then he'd draw a blank. Deaq didn't leave Van's side the entire time. He even took him to the Candy Store while he worked on reports. One day when Roberts was also working at the Candy Store Deaq took Van over to meet him hoping maybe the hate the two men had for each other would resurface in Van and he might remember something. Roberts knew better then to start trouble in front of Billie and instead just ignored the two men. Van had an uneasy feeling standing in front of Roberts. He could sense that the man didn't like him and he wondered why.

Later in the week 

The next two days were spent much like the first few, trying unsuccessfully to get Van to remember something. Deaq began to wonder if Van would ever get his memory back or if he would spend the rest of his life in the dark never remembering his former life. He knew he should just be grateful his partner was alive, and he was, but deep inside he ached to have the old Van back. All the cases that had worked on, all the things they had shared might be lost to Van forever.

Outside Deaq's house 

McKay and his men were growing impatient. They wanted Van dead but knew it would be easier to get to him if he was alone. He had cost them a fortune and it wouldn't be good for business if they left him live. They knew sooner or later the man he was with would leave the house without him. they soon got their wish.

Deaq's house 

Van had fallen asleep on the sofa holding Jake while Deaq was in the kitchen writing a grocery list. When he was finished he was going to wake Van but decided against it. It was the first time he had seen him sleep so peacefully. Most of the time he had tossed and turned all night. Deaq figured he could go to the grocery store and be back before he woke up. He thought he could trust Van not to wander off, they had begun to become close again even though Van still couldn't remember him. He wrote a quick note saying he'd be right back and put it on the table in front of Van, then grabbed his keys and left.

Ten minutes later 

His little dog barked twice as someone knocked on the front door. Van jumped up at the sound and immediately regretted it. He winced in pain as he stood up, the gunshot wound still bothered him a little. He glanced down at the note then went to the door. When he opened it three men pushed their way into the house.

"**Hey!"** Van started to protest but was rewarded with a punch to his stomach that caused him to gasp and double over in pain. Jake tried to protect him but was kicked aside. Ed yanked Van to an upright position.

"You're a hard man to kill Strummer." McKay said as he stood in front of Van.

Van had no idea who these men were or what they could want.

"Who's the black guy and when is he coming back?" Walt said.

"I don't know."

Walt backhanded Van hard across the face splitting open his lip. Blood trickled down his face.

"Wrong answer." Walt grabbed Van by the collar. **"Now when is he coming back!"**

"I'm not sure." Van knew Deaq wouldn't be gone too long and was worried he might walk into this.

"You know you cost me a lot of money, plus a boat. It's pay back time." McKay turned to his partners and nodded. One of them grabbed Van and pulled his arms back while the other started beating on him. He fought back the best he could but they were too strong for him. When they released him he fell to the floor his arms wrapped tight around his ribs. Jake ran over to him and started licking him. Ed reached down and picked up the dog. He pulled a switchblade out of his pocket and plunged it into the dog who yelped in pain.

"**Noooooooooo!"** Van screamed as he reached for the dog.

Ed plunged the knife in again and the dog went limp.

"**Oh God no!"** Tears ran down Van's face as he grabbed the dog from Ed. "Why did you kill him?! He couldn't hurt you!!" He sat on the floor cradling Jake's body.

"Get rid of him before his friend comes back." McKay ordered.

Ed smiled and grabbed Van pulling him up. Before Van could react, he felt the blade of the knife go deep into his stomach. His eyes widened as he cried out in pain. As Ed pulled his arm back to stab him again something snapped in Van and he instinctively reacted. He spun around and kicked Walt in the stomach knocking him across the room then grabbed McKay and threw him across the room. As he turned to take care of Ed he felt the knife once more slash deeply across his side. He hissed in pain as he kicked the knife out of Ed's hand, then spun around kicking him in the knee. He dropped the dog and stumbled out the door disappearing into the night.

Deaq's neighbor stood at her door listening to the commotion coming from his house. She watched horrified as Van, the front of his shirt covered in blood, ran out of the house and upthe street. She picked up the phone and dialed 911.

Deaq's car 

Deaq had just picked up a few things at the store and was on his way home. Once Van was feeling a little better he had to get him out on the basketball court, he thought, maybe that would jog his memory. He was only a few blocks from home when his cell phone rang.

"Yeah."

"Deaq it's Billie where are you?"

"Couple of blocks from home why?"

"Is Van with you?"

"No……..Billie what's up?"

"The department just got a 911 call concerning your house. A neighbor called and said there was some kind of disturbance going on. I'll meet you there."

Deaq didn't bother to answer her. He threw down his cell phone and stepped on the accelerator and sped toward his house. He arrived before the police and ran to the front door, it was open. He stood pressed against the wall his gun in hand as he tried to determine if anyone was inside. When he couldn't hear anything he spun into the room gun in front of him. He felt like he had been punched in the stomach when he saw all the blood splattered around the room. But what really made him choke up was when he saw Van's little dog lying in a pool of blood.

"**Van!" **He screamed just in case his partner might be in the house hurt somewhere. He quickly searched the house but found nothing. Just then a shadow on the wall caused him to spin around toward the door. His neighbor stood there, her hand up to her mouth as she took in the scene.

"Mrs. Kane, are you the one that called the police?"

"Yes, there seemed to be quite a fight going on here."

"Did you see them leave?"

"Yes. First I saw that friend of yours with the long hair, he came out first. He looked like he had been hurt bad, real bad. He was covered in blood. He just came out and ran up the street. A few minutes later three other men came out and started looking up and down the street for your friend. I called 911 immediately."

"Which direction did my friend go?"

"That way." She pointed to the right. "But so did the other men."

"Thanks, you did the right thing. Why don't you go back to your house and lock the door, I'll handle this." Deaq didn't want her standing around in case who ever it was came back. He could feel his heart pounding in his chest. So who ever did this to Van was right behind him. He prayed they didn't find him.

After he was sure she was safe, Deaq went to the street and looked up and down in vain hope that he'd see something. All he could see were drops of blood every few yards. Billie and the police pulled up a few minutes later.

"Deaq?" Billie could see the anxious look on Deaq's face and it scared her.

"I don't know what's going on. The place is covered in blood and they killed the dog."

"Oh God no." She looked down sadly. Deaq had told her how attached Van was to the dog. "Who would want to hurt Van? Do you think he got in trouble when he was missing and someone came looking for him?"

"I don't know Billie. He hasn't been on a case for months and the perps on the last case are either dead or long gone. Maybe you're right, maybe something happened when we thought he was dead. I just know if that blood in there is all his, we got to find him, and soon."

"You said he had been staying at a warehouse with some homeless people. Maybe he went back there, it might be the only place he might feel safe. Why don't you check it out and I'll secure the scene here and put out an APR on him."

"Billie, we just got him back, I can't lose him again."

"We'll find him Deaq." She said trying to sound a lot more confidant then she felt.

The warehouse 

Deaq sped back to the warehouse and entered it, he immediately headed to the area where the homeless were staying. Instead of the friendly greeting he was expecting to get this time they looked at him suspiciously. He walked over to Joey.

"Joey, I'm looking for Van, is he here?"

"You mean Mike?" Joey used the name that Van had been using. "We ain't seen him."

"Joey it's real important that I find him. I think he's hurt bad and I need to get him looked at by a doctor." Deaq didn't know whether to believe him or not. They could be trying to protect Van and didn't quite trust him yet. Deaq started to look around the room hoping to see some sign that Van had been there. He found what he was looking for, drops of blood. "He was here wasn't he Joey?" When Joey didn't answer Deaq grabbed his shoulders and shook him gently, he didn't want to hurt him. Joey was only trying to protect Van. "Joey, I need to find him. Someone hurt him and they might come looking for him."

Tears filled Joey's eyes.

"He was here but he left. He was hurt real bad."

"Do you know where he went?"

"No, he just left. I tried to get him to go to the clinic but he was scared. I think he thought who ever did this to him would find him there."

Deaq reached in his pocket and pulled out his cell phone. He handed it to Joey.

"Do me a favor. If you see him give him this and tell him to call me." Deaq wrote down the number to one of the cell phones at the Candy Store and handed the paper to Joey. He'd stop by the Candy Store and pick up the spare phone when he left.

"He told me they killed Jake." Joey said sadly.

"Yeah, I'm sorry."

"He loved that little dog."

"I know." Deaq's eyes welled up with tears.

_Later_

Deaq drove back to the Candy Store to pick up the spare cell phone. Roberts was there when he entered. Deaq ignored him, he didn't want to get in an argument with him, not now, he didn't have the time. He grabbed the phone and headed toward the door.

"I heard about your partner." Roberts yelled over.

Deaq figured Roberts was going to apologize for the things he said about Van, but he didn't.

"You know, I don't think your partner has amnesia. I think he's just a dirty cop and he put on this amnesia act when he got caught."

"I don't have time for this Roberts. My partner could be bleeding to death." He continued towards the door.

"Well I hope he does. He would do the city a favor."

Deaq lost it. He flew across the floor and leveled Roberts with a fist to his face. A second later he lay unconscious on the Candy Store's floor. Deaq left him there and headed back to his car, then drove around L.A. looking for any sign of his partner. Hours later when the phone rang he quickly grabbed it.

"Van?!" 

"Deaq?"

"Yeah, where the hell are you, I'm worried about you?!" 

"They killed Jake, Deaq……….they killed my dog."

"I know buddy, I'm sorry." Deaq was worried he could tell Van's voice sounded weak.

"He was all I had." Van's choked on the words.

"Where are you partner, I'll come get you?"

"No!" 

"Van you're hurt. You need to get to a doctor."

Van didn't answer but Deaq could hear him shivering over the phone. Deaq prayed that all the blood they had found in his house wasn't all Van's. If it was, Van could be bleeding to death as they spoke.

"**Van! Van tell me where you are?!"**

"I……..I can't……..I don't know……… who to trust anymore."

Deaq's swallowed the lump in his throat as he heard the helpless feeling in Van's voice. Van had finally started to trust him and it hurt him to think that the trust might have been lost.

"Van I'm your partner! I only want to help you! Tell me who did this to you."

"There were three of them. I didn't know what they were talking about. They said I cost them a lot of money ………..and something about a boat…………They killed Jake…………I tried to stop them ……………" Tears ran down Van's face at the thought of the little dog who had befriended him. "Deaq, they asked who you were and when you were coming back. They might come after you, you got to be careful."

When Van mentioned the boat Deaq's heart lurched. It couldn't be McKay, he thought. He and any remaining members of his crew should have left L.A. a long time ago, and the rest were dead. But who else could it be, it had to be them.

"Van, listen to me man. These men are extremely dangerous. They'll find you and finish what they started. You got to come in. If you don't trust me, find a cop and let them bring you in."

These was complete silence for a few seconds and Deaq was worried that Van might have passed out.

"Van**. Van come on answer me man!"**

"Deaq, I'm scared man. God I hurt so bad."

Deaq could tell Van was growing weaker by the second.

"Stay with me partner. I ain't going to lose you again."

The front of Van's shirt was saturated with blood. He sat down and leaned against a wall in the dark alley. He kept his hand pressed tight over the knife wound, blood bubbled through his fingers. He didn't know which hurt more the wound or his ribs from the beating he took. He was so tired he just wanted to sleep. He put his head back against the wall and shut his eyes. He started to drift off immediately.

"**Van! Answer me!"**

Deaq listened in horror as he heard the cell phone hit the ground.

"**Van! Van!"** He had to get hold of Billie and let her know what was happening but he didn't want to hang up to call Billie because he'd lose all connection with his partner if he did. **"Come on partner, answer me!"**

Deaq tried to think. He knew Van had to have stopped again at the warehouse for Joey to have given him the phone. Plus he knew he was in bad shape and couldn't have traveled far by foot, so logically he had to be hiding some where near the warehouse. But

where? He sped back toward the warehouse, he had to find Van, and fast. The phone line remained open and he kept calling to his partner as he drove.

The Alley 

As Van lay semi conscious against the wall in the ally flashes of memory shot through his mind. Shots of Deaq and him playing basketball, speeding around in a sporty

looking car, and a large black man with a strange name he couldn't remember. He also

thought he remembered Deaq standing by his bed while he was slowly dying unable to

breathe. But the memories came in bits and pieces, nothing he could make sense of. What did these men want with him? He knew Deaq said he had been a cop and he assumed the men were somehow connected to that. All he knew was that he had to lead

them away from Deaq and from the warehouse. He had to get out of the alley in case the

men were still looking for him, and move further into the city where he could more easily blend in with the crowd. He tried to stand up but was too weak. He gave a small gasp of

pain and fell back to the ground.

Deaq's car 

Over the phone Deaq had heard the sound of movement then the little gasp of pain. Now all he heard was silence.

"**Van!"** Deaq yelled anxiously into the phone. "You gotta hang in there partner, I not losing you twice." He took a corner on two wheels as he neared the warehouse.

Near the alley 

McKay and his men followed the drops of blood down the street and into the alley. Halfway through the alley they spotted Van on the ground leaning against the wall.

"You were sure easy to find Strummer, you might as well have drawn us a map." McKay said as he walked over and stood in front of Van.

"What………..what did I do to you?" Van knew this time he had no fight left in him. This time he was going to die, but he needed to know why.

"You cost me a lot of money, and now you have to pay." McKay stepped back and nodded to Walt. "Get it over with."

Walt reached down and pulled Van up, not having the strength to stand, he hung like a rag doll in his grip. He shut his eyes he just wanted it over with.

Deaq's car 

Deaq listened in horror to the conversation coming over the phone. His eyes searched up and down the alleyways as he drove by, praying he would spot something. He mentally kicked himself in the head. He should have checked out the alleys around the warehouse when he was there the first time. He knew he had been frantic at the time and hadn't been thinking clearly. Finally he spotted what he was looking for. He could barely see down the dimly lit alley but he could make out the figures of three men. One appeared to be holding the other up against the wall while the other stood in front of them. He turned the wheel hard and flew down the alley. He slammed on the brakes right next to the men and jumped out of his car.

"**Hold it right there!"** He screamed pointing the gun at the two men who were standing near Van. As they released Van he crumbled to the ground. **"Get away from** **him!"**

The two men backed away their hands in the air. Deaq never saw the other man standing near the adjacent wall, but Van could. McKay slowly began to approach Deaq from behind.

"**Deaq, look out!"** Van yelled and was immediately rewarded by a sharp kick to his head from Walt. Deaq watched as Van's head snapped back and slammed into the wall. He lay motionless where he fell. Deaq spun around just as McKay was raising his gun. He fired and McKay fell to the ground. He then turned back to the two men standing next to his partner. One of them had started going for his gun and Deaq shot it out of his hand. He could hear sirens getting closer and as a squad car drove past Deaq fired into the air alerting them to where they were. They turned into the alley and two officers jumped out holding their guns on Deaq and the other men.

"**I'm a police officer!"** Deaq shouted, knowing he couldn't prove it since he no longer carried his shield ever since working undercover for Billie.

"**Don't move!"** One of the officers yelled.

Deaq slowly lowered his gun and faced the officers.

"I'm a police officer. My partner is hurt bad. I need to go to him." Deaq tried to talk calmly in order not to provoke the officers. Inside he was frantic, he needed to get to Van.

"**Stay where you are!"** The officer kept his gun trained on Deaq while the other officer kept his on Walt and Ed.

"I work for Lieutenant Chambers. You can contact her but I need to go to my partner." Deaq started slowly moving toward Van. "My partner's the man that the APR was out on."

"**I said freeze!" **The young officer didn't know what to believe. He kept his gun trained on Deaq while he radioed for headquarters. Soon Billie was on the radio telling him it was okay that Deaq did indeed work for her and she would be there soon. The officer then nodded to Deaq as he trained his gun on Walt and Ed. His partner had them stand against the wall while he frisked them then handcuffed them. Meanwhile Deaq ran over and knelt next to Van. Tears ran down his cheek as he saw Van's bloody shirt. It was almost completely saturated with blood. He carefully laid Van flat on the ground then leaned over him keeping pressure on the wound in an attempt to stop the flow of blood. Van moaned weakly in pain and tried to push Deaq's hands away

"**Get me an ambulance!"** Deaq shouted over to the officers.

"One is already on the way."

Deaq swallowed the sob that threatened to escape from him. Van looked terrible. He was pale and covered in sweat and blood. While keeping pressure on his wound Deaq put his other hand on Van's forehead, he was burning up with fever.

"**Where the hell is that ambulance?!!"** Deaq yelled to no one in particular.

"It should be here any minute. How is he?" One of the officers asked.

Deaq shook his head and wiped angrily at his tears. He had just gotten his partner back from the dead and now it looked like he might lose him again.

"You're going to be okay. I'm here now, you're going to be just fine." Deaq kept repeating soothingly to Van.

Finally the ambulance arrived and after doing what they could for him at the scene, they rushed him to the hospital. Deaq rode with him not wanting to leave his side.

Billie had been informed of what was going on and met them at the hospital.

Deaq tried to go into the emergency room with Van and angrily argued with the doctors before being pulled away by Billie.

"Billie, I need to be with him!"

"Deaq, you got to let the doctors do their job. You'll only be in the way."

"You don't understand Billie, it's my fault!"

"What's your fault?" She looked at him, not sure what he was talking about.

"I never should have left Van alone! They got to him because I left him alone while I went to the store. Billie……..if Van dies, it's my fault." He turned his face away from her as his eyes filled up.

"Deaq, it's not your fault." Billie put her hand on his arm. "I know you Deaq, you would have done anything to protect Van. You never would have left if you had any idea that he was in any kind of danger."

"But it's still my fault Billie. Van was fine when I left him……….and now look at him. God Billie………he lost so much blood." Deaq choked on the last words.

"Deaq, it's no ones fault, it just happened. If they wanted him they would have gotten to him sooner or later. Right now we got to be strong and pray that he pulls through this."

"I'm scared Billie, I'm really scared. I don't know if he has the strength to get through this."

Two hours later 

The doctor emerged from the ER.

"We're trying to stabilized him. He lost almost half his blood and all we can do right now is pump blood into him as fast as we can. He's bleeding internally and we need to get him to the OR once he's stabilized to stop the bleeding. That is our main concern right now. He also has a slight concussion as far as we're able to tell. I don't know how he managed to hold on for this long."

"Is he awake?" Billie asked.

"He keeps going in and out of consciousness."

"Can we see him?" Deaq wanted to know.

"Yeah, but keep it quick."

_Emergency Room _

Deaq and Billie entered the ER and walked over to Van. His eyes were closed, but at least his color seemed a little better. One arm was hooked up to a bag of blood and the other to an antibiotic, an oxygen tube hung around his face. Billie walked over and smoothed back his hair.

"You hurry and get better buddy." She said softly.

At the sound of her voice Van slowly opened his eyes and looked at her. She smiled down at him and he gave her a small, weak smile in return.He then looked into Deaq's concerned face and Deaq swore he gave him a little wink before his head fell to the side and he once more passed out. Billie and Deaq were then ushered out of the room while they prepared Van for the OR.

"Did you see that Billie, he winked at me? It was almost like the old Van was back."

Deaq said as they once more sat in the waiting room.

"I saw it Deaq." Billie reached over and took his hand. "But please don't get your hopes up, it might not mean anything."

Four hours later 

The wait was agonizing but finally the doctor came out of the operating room and approached them. They both quickly stood up.

"Well we managed to stop the bleeding. He had a deep wound to his stomach that had nicked an artery. He kept bleeding out as fast as we were pumping it into him. Now it's up to him."

They watched as Van was wheeled from the OR and down the hall to the recovery room. Now all they could do was wait and pray.

Seven hours later 

The doctor had told them to go home and get some rest but neither one of them would leave. Instead they slept in the waiting room and told the doctor to wake them as soon as Van was conscious and they were able to see him. Hours later a nurse finally came in and gently woke them.

"He's awake and asking for you." She said to both Billie and Deaq.

"Asking for us?" Billie and Deaq both said simultaneously.

They quickly got up and followed the nurse into the recovery room. Van sat partially propped up in bed. He looked over at them and gave them a small smile. He looked extremely weak and they knew they shouldn't stay too long or they would tire him.

"Hey partner." Deaq said as he walked over.

"Hey." Van said softly.

"How are you doing?" Billie asked as she too walked over.

"I've been better." He smiled at her then looked at Deaq. "Do me a favor partner………next time you see Roberts tell him I'm gong to kick his butt."

"You remember Roberts?!" Deaq asked surprised because when Van had last seen Roberts he had no idea who he was.

"Yeah, he's a jerk just like he's always been."

"Van, do you remember us?" Billie asked hopefully.

"Sure, why wouldn't I?"

"You really remember us?!" Deaq said a big grin on his face.

"What's the big deal? Of course I know you guys. I just don't remember how I got here." He tried to push himself up further on the bed but a sharp pain shot through his stomach. He shut his eyes as beads of sweat formed on his forehead. Billie called for a nurse who quickly put a pain reliever in Van's IV a few minutes later it took effect and Van reopened his eyes.

"Sorry." He apologized.

"You have nothing to be sorry about partner. You've been through hell and when you're feeling better do I have a story to tell you." Deaq smiled, thankful to finally have his old partner back

Epilogue 

Van regained his full memory. The doctor speculated it was from seeing Deaq in danger from McKay, plus the blow to his head. He was kept in the hospital for the next five days and was released with strict orders to take it easy for the next two months. The liquor store robbery charges against him were dropped after the judge was informed about the amnesia. The first thing Van did after he was released was to visit his homeless friends with Deaq who had picked him up at the hospital. While Van was in the hospital Deaq had buried the dog at the warehouse and Van leaned down and patted the small grave sadly. The dog had meant more to him then anyone could have known. It was the first thing that was friendly to him when he had no idea who he was or where to go. He wiped back a tear from his eye.

"I'm sorry Jake, I'll miss you buddy." He choked on the words. Deaq gently put his hand on Van's shoulder and led him away. They would often stop back to feed and bring medical supplies to the homeless living in the warehouse and to visit a small grave.

The End


End file.
